Abstinence by definition is the voluntary forbearance
of something such as a sexual craving. This is a straightforward
and easy definition to comprehend; however, it has a crucial
meaning behind it. Teens and young adults today have become
so used to the sexual environment for the sake of popularity
that they don’t think twice about the consequences.
Without abstinence, things such as STDs, crumbling relationships
with God, and unplanned pregnancies are likely to occur.
Abstinence does not mean that you will never have sex. It
means that you will abstain from any pressure to have it until
you are emotionally ready. Sex is a very intimate act that
can bring pleasure to those who are prepared spiritually,
emotionally, and physically. However, it can also cause a
lot of stress if it occurs too early without proper planning
and preparation. It can lead to a lot of hurt feelings and
unsteady relations in the future. For this reason, waiting
until marriage is a great option. After all, when you are
married to someone you are positive that you love that person
and want the best for them and they in turn are devoted to
your happiness and well-being. Intimate relationships should
start off on a solid foundation using tools such as respect,
trust, honesty, and caring. If you can both wait patiently
until your union is blessed in sight of God then you can be
confident that your feelings for each other are based on more
than physical attraction. You should let your partner know
your standards up front and firmly set them in stone together.
That way, it is less likely that you will crumble under the
pressure.
One of the biggest influences that should impact the decisions
that you make concerning your sex life is your relationship
with God. God created sex as a pleasurable experience for
the married couple and the Bible is very specific in stating
God’s desires for us. 1 Corinthians 7:2 states, “But
since there is so much immorality, each man should have his
own wife and each woman her own husband.” Sex was designed
to be a physical expression of an emotional bond and commitment
ordained by our Spiritual Father. It’s a gift from God
to celebrate the marriage covenant and to create a new life.
Having sexual relationships outside this bond demeans its
value and importance. Because God loves us, he designed a
plan with our happiness in mind. When we choose to live outside
of this plan then we create sin and chaos in our lives.
Even though sex prematurely might not touch you spiritually,
there are physical complications that will hinder you no matter
what you believe. Sexually transmitted diseases, also known
as STDs, are one of the major health concerns that come along
with having sex too soon. Things such as AIDS (acquired immune
deficiency syndrome), HPV (human papillomavirus), and syphilis
can cause long-lasting effects or can even be deadly. You
may be thinking that there are preventative measures you could
use for protection. You are absolutely right but none of them
are 100% guaranteed to keep you healthy. The only way to be
sure you are safe is to use that little thing we call abstinence.
Even if you aren’t concerned with the effects that contracting
a STD could have on your body, consider the fact that any
children you may have in the future could be affected. STDs
can cause serious birth defects. For instance, syphilis or
herpes infection can cause blindness and death. A new study
has found that STDs quadruple your baby’s chances of
being born with a birth defect known as gastroschisis, a condition
which causes the baby’s intestines and other organs
to be born outside the abdomen. Maybe you will be lucky enough
to avoid an STD, but will you be fortunate enough to avoid
an unwanted pregnancy?
Do you know that one in three girls in the United States
is estimated to get pregnant at least once before the age
20? If you become pregnant, there will be tough decisions
that will affect not only you but the father and the child.
Would you keep the baby, would you give it up for adoption,
or would you terminate the pregnancy? Whatever answer you
decide there will be financial, emotional, and physical stress
added to your life. For instance, those who choose to end
a pregnancy or put their baby up for adoption tend to struggle
with feelings of guilt and loss. Those who choose to keep
their baby tend to be less successful in obtaining a higher
education and subsequently financially rewarding jobs. They
also will have extensive physical demands placed on them trying
to keep up with the needs of two lives instead of one. There
are simply no easy answers with a teen pregnancy. The best
choice is made before an intimate relationship occurs.
With all the above mentioned scenarios, it’s easy to
see why abstinence is the best choice during your teen years.
It offers you so much freedom. Freedom of guilt that would
be caused by knowing your choice adversely affected yourself,
your partner and possibly a child. Freedom in knowing that
you won’t have health problems or diseases that prevents
you from living out your dreams. Freedom of pursuing your
educational and career goals rather than settling for what
you can get right now. Freedom to spend time with friends,
learning lessons and making memories that will last a lifetime.
All these experiences will allow you to grow into the mature
adult you will need to be in order to handle intimate relationship,
and be a responsible parent with a solid spiritual foundation.
So, what do you do when you love someone and you want to
let them know it without being physically intimate? You take
the time to meet their emotional needs. You can get to know
and support your partner more by sharing your fears, aspirations,
jobs and pains. Long conversations, creative dates, cute gifts,
thoughtful cards, and going to activities that support each
other are great ways to show you love someone without the
unnecessary physical contact. Showing restraint and investing
time will let your partner know how serious you are about
creating a loving and fulfilling relationship for both of
you. When you love someone it’s normal to want to express
those feelings in a physical way so it’s imperative
that you plan your time together so that your morals aren’t
compromised.
Be proactive in making sure your dating environment is free
from temptation. Double-dates, going out in a huge group of
friends, and entertaining in the home with adult supervision
are great ways to lessen your chances of creating a situation
in which you aren’t strong enough to say “no.”
Stay away from secluded areas, darkened rooms, and parties
where physical contact is encouraged. Be sure to dress appropriately
and don’t send mixed messages. Take time to invest in
the future by making wise decisions today.
In the end, abstinence is the best possible choice for teens
in the prevention of teenage pregnancy. It alleviates all
the cares and concerns that could be potential pitfalls from
teen sex. It gives teens the opportunity to gain confidence
in themselves and their abilities, build better spiritual
bonds and solidify potential romantic relationships. |
