While waiting for my dinner to be served at
Outback Steakhouse recently with my mom and grandmother, I
sent the following text message to my mom who was sitting
right beside me…”Keep quiet! I’ve decided
that I “DO” want to have sex mom…you cannot
change my mind about it either.” My mom turned and looked
me in my eyes and said, “Oh, do you? Do you know who
with?” Trying to avoid her eye contact, calmly I replied,
“Samuel.” With a steady voice my mom told me,
“Okay. We will talk about it later tonight, but I’m
going to want you to articulate, ‘Why?’”
She loves the word articulate, and when she uses it, I know
she means business. Although I am very close to my mother
and I always try to listen to her advice about life, I had
made up my mind. I was ready to do “IT”! I trust
my mom with all my heart, but I was tired of feeling like
an outsider among my friends. I wanted to feel, experience,
and talk about what all my friends were not only talking about,
but also experiencing firsthand…SEX. At fifteen, I had
decided that remaining a virgin had grown to be a burden in
my life. I felt I was now ready to put aside all the morals
and values that had been instilled in me literally from the
age of three and strike out on my own to assert my independence.
Despite being raised in an educated and supportive family
who had always gone through great links to teach and share
with me the dangers and life changing effects associated with
teens having sex, my heart was screaming at me to take the
risks!
As we ate dinner, my mother and grandmother had their usual
lively conversation. I, on the other hand, was freaking out!
I had a million thoughts running over and over through my
head. My brain felt like it was about to explode! That familiar
voice was once again speaking to me, making me think about
right and wrong. My mom wanted me to explain why I wanted
to, but what continued to enter my mind is why I shouldn’t.
I hadn’t even done the physical act and yet I was already
going through emotional changes. What if the boy rejected
me after I went through with it? What if I fell in love with
him and one day wanted to marry him, and he didn’t feel
the same about me? Then I would be stressed out and become
depressed. My grades would suffer and I could risk messing
up my education. If I went ahead with my decision, then I
would also have to deal with the physical effects. What if
I accidently became pregnant? Abstinence is the only absolute
way to truly avoid getting pregnant. It only takes one time
for something to go wrong. So, why was I contemplating such
a dumb thing and willing to take such a big risk with my life
and my future? I would have to go through the pain and agony
of deciding whether to keep my baby or give it up for adoption.
Abortion would not be an option for me because I would not
be able to live with myself. I would never have the heard
to kill my baby. Regardless, my life would never be the same!
The decision would affect me during my entire lifetime. Would
I be able to finish high school? What about college? I had
just made the decision last week that I wanted to attend Harvard
University like Barack and Michelle Obama! I also would no
longer be able to hang with my friends, attend school dances
and events, birthday parties, or just go to a movie whenever
I wanted to. I want to continue to come first!
Until this year, I had always wanted to remain a virgin until
I was married. I wanted my husband and me to love and trust
God as well as love and trust one another. I could hear my
mom’s voice ringing in my ears, “Why are you now
thinking about letting the dream for you and your future husband
slip away from you because of your desire to fit in with your
friends? If they jumped out of an airplane without a parachute,
would you want to do ‘IT,’ too?” That’s
my mom, always the voice of reason. I know that God wants
us to remain holy and honorable and refrain from having sex
before marriage. He expects all of us to refrain from giving
into lust and to take control of our bodies to avoid sexual
immorality. The way for me to honor God, my family, and myself
morally and ethically is by continuing to practice abstinence.
It is the only way that I will ever be 100% able to avoid
getting pregnant, suffering from a high-risk teenage pregnancy,
contracting an STD as well as avoiding all of the emotional
and physical consequences that I would endure from experimenting
with sex before marriage.
Peer pressure is very difficult to live through, but as I
had been agonizing over my decision during dinner, I realized
that it was just that…MY decision, MY choice. God gave
man freewill and the ability to make a choice to choose between
right and wrong. My friends were not forcing me to prematurely
relinquish my purity for a false sense of gratification. My
future and the decision I made pertaining to my life and future
were in my control. I had been using peer pressure as an excuse
to feel in control and assert a false sense of independence.
There were plenty of decisions I made in my life that allowed
me to assert my maturity and independence such as deciding
to strive to make A’s in all my classes, which university
summer programs to attend this summer, taking the PSAT this
fall, the SAT next spring, and which college I want to attend
in two short years. A wave of relief washed over me. My heart
which had been beating out of control all through dinner from
the thoughts that had been racing through my mind was finally
beginning to beat in a more tranquil manner. I finally realized
that making a decision to have sex in my teenage years is
not the right decision for me. There was too much stress and
anxiety just thinking about it. I could only imagine how devastating
it could be for me to actually go through with “IT”
at this age and time in my life. I do not want to become a
part of the current statistics that I had seen on the national
news which revealed that over a million teenage girls become
pregnant each year in the United States and over half become
pregnant within months of their first sexual encounter. “IT”
just isn’t worth it!
Suddenly, I was snapped out of my thinking trance by my mom
and grandmother’s laughter. I turned and looked at my
mom beside me. I couldn’t believe it! She seemed to
not have a worry in the world! Only 30 minutes ago, I had
declared to her that I would be going against all that I had
been taught about abstinence, and she was joking and laughing.
My mom felt my body jerk a little and turned to look at me.
Once again she looked me directly in my ayes and asked, “You’ve
been thinking a lot, huh? Did you hear God and your conscious
speaking to you?” This time I did not avoid her eyes
and looked directly into them and felt peacefulness come over
me. I smiled at my mom and with great confidence I said, “Yes,
and I listened. I heard HIM loud and clearly! ‘IT’
is not even worth losing ME!”
Do I think abstinence is the best choice for teens in the
prevention of teenage pregnancy? Yes, I do! Practicing abstinence
from anything can be harmful to you and your overall success
is mandatory in my eyes. I will be the first to tell any and
all teenagers that we do have a great deal to contend with
in our lives, and in actuality we don’t make it easy
on one another either. Sexual intercourse before marriage
is just not worth losing yourself over the temporary emotions,
feelings, hormones, or lust you maybe feeling. My friends
pick on me about being a virgin, but I don’t care anymore.
God, my life, my family, my future, my dreams, and my goals
matter the most to me. As teenagers, we should abstain from
negative activities such as engaging in premarital sex to
help us keep our aspirations in sight. I vow to continue to
remain a virgin and practice sexual abstinence to demonstrate
continual love and respect for myself.
|
