Your Life, Your Choice
“No! This can’t be happening! We were Safe!” Sarah sobbed on her best friends shoulder. She had just read the pregnancy test that she had covertly purchased at a local drugstore. The fact is Sara wasn’t the only teen in the U.S. who had received this life shattering news. In Montana, Tina had finally accepted the fact that she would not be graduating. Her sister didn’t graduate so she saw that as the ‘norm’ and figured it would be okay to have a baby. She could get back on track, right? Besides, prior to having sex, her boyfriend told her that he loved her and would stay with her forever. Nothing cold possibly be wrong them having sex ‘just this once’. Females are not only ones that have to carry a burden after making such a life altering decision to not abstain from sex. Males suffer consequences for their clouded action as well. Zachary experienced his first outbreak of Herpes last week in California. On top of having an STD, Zachary must live with the fact that his girlfriend not only had had sex with another boy before him, but may now be pregnant. The fact of the matter is, having sex as a teenager poses too many risks to the individual’s lives and could change the course of their future forever. It is highly beneficial to practice abstinence until you have had the chance to experience life as an adult because you will be better prepared to take on the obstacles associated with the act of having sex.
Millions of teenagers have witnessed the consequences of loose morals in the hallways at school, heard about it from other classmates, talked about it in depth, and have learned of its consequences. But do teens really understand? Teenagers have so much stress between work, school, family and friends; why add to it? Sex just adds fuel to the fire. Even though your personal fire may be burning for another at one moment in time, you have to think, do I really want to risk my health and my life just for a couple moments of pleasure? Set your goals before you get into the situation. Prioritize your long-term life before you live for the moment. Eleven years ago, in kindergarten, during a “career day” activity, I told the future class of 2009 my dreams and goals. Fortunately, at seventeen, I do not still believe that I will be a lemonade-stand manager five years from now, but the ideals of setting goals for my future still remain a constant. I’m not too sure I’ve ever heard somebody say “when I grow up, I want to have a baby at the age of fifteen and not be able to finish my high school education, and therefore struggle all of my life to just get by.” It sounds quite ridiculous put into words, doesn’t it? In light of that silly sarcasm, setting adamant goals becomes a healthy precaution that can do nothing but help you have a reason to refrain from sex.
Aside from setting personal goals, a parent’s role in their teen’s life can make an impact on the teen’s overall decision to have sex. If parents talk to their teens, and vice-versa, about sex and choosing abstinence, young adults will not have to wonder about the possibility of sexual intercourse and will be able to focus more on age appropriate activities such as sports, church, and even family time. By averting your attention to more important matters, like being young, vivacious, you can build loads of self-confidence which will help you in the long run. A self-assured teen will focus more on bettering themselves and focus less on doing something that those with no guidance would deem “cool”. A confidence teenager will understand that being yourself and becoming a better person individually are more important than going with the crowd. With confidence also comes the understanding that there will come a time for sex later in life when both the age and situation are appropriate.
If self confidence and goals are not enough to persuade, look at the facts. Condom commercials state that you should use a condom every time, but aren’t they forgetting something? Sure, their job is to advertise safe sex, and sell their product, but they fail to mention the best strategy of all, “NO SEX”. You see, condoms don’t always work. Students nowadays are under the impression that safe sex is ‘okay’ sex. Well, looks can be deceiving. Statistically, 12% of condoms fail to do their intended job [1], putting the users at risk and making you not as “safe” as you thought you were. Why take the chance in harming yourself if you can do without and stay healthy when it matters the most?
I have met three people, and personally knew one, who did not abstain from having sex. Their actions resulted in the conception of a child. I watched as one of these girls kept in control of her life after the birth of her baby thanks to the love and support of the father and her family. Unfortunately, three of these girls gave birth and disappeared from high school life completely. Many excuses have risen to explain their absence such as dropping out to get a job to support the baby, and being too tired to be prepared for school. One instance is accredited to the boyfriend leaving and abandoning his “mistake”, leaving the mother to carry the burden alone. However the circumstances vary, all four of these young women decided that having sex just one time would be okay. They loved their boyfriend and vice versa. This is the price that each of them must pay. Nonetheless, it is not just a temporary price tag. It is a lifetime of partial regret, humiliation, unfair judgment, and struggle. Ultimately, the job differs from what you told your kindergarten class of what you wanted to be when you grew up, doesn’t it?
I was raised to believe that if you love someone and they love you back, they can wait. If they can not, then they truly did not love you in the first place and that is not the kind of person you want to spend the rest of your life with. My mom has always said “don’t put yourself in a situation that could leave you vulnerable to believing that sex at your age is okay.” As much as I trusted my mother, I didn’t fully understand why she kept telling me that as I was growing into a young lady. Now that maturity has kicked in, I see that she was preventing me from ending up as a statistic. Even my father has told me that no matter what happens in a relationship, sex is not the answer to your problems. My dad was at “that age” before
and he knows what it is like to be a boy with those “forbidden thoughts”. His parents’ words of wisdom were “no respectable girl would do that before she is married”. He was one of the few young men with self control and it was that characteristic which made my mother respect him so much. The traditions of respect lives on as my family progresses and not only do my goals keep me abstinent, but it is also my parents’ unrelenting will and power that keeps my thoughts far from the subject. This message should be heard by all of the teenagers out there, as well as the parents. Having sex is something that can wait. It is as simple as saying “no”. Besides, you’ve got the rest of your life to figure things out. Give life a chance.
[1] Condom Depot,. “Statistics, Studies, and Other Scientific Stuff about the Effectiveness of Latex Condoms.” www.condomdepot.com. 1Jan. 1996. Go live, Inc. /Condom Depot. 13 Apr. 2008 http://www.condomdepot.com/learn/stats.cfm.
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