Tasha didn't think she could get pregnant. The
term "teenaged" mother barely fits her. She is closer
to childhood than adulthood, having just entered her teen
years. Her baby is due in a few months. Marcella was in the
ninth grade when she got pregnant. The young man-who also
fathered another child-then sauntered through the neighborhood
bragging about his exploits. Stan was the baby-faced one in
the group. He spent summer days like many other 13-year-olds,
with butterflies in his stomach from his first love and knowing
that he was about to start high school. Late in the summer,
red spots started appearing on his skin and he was tired all
the time. A few weeks later, he started high school feeling
healthy. He went for a routine physical that winter, so he
could join the swim team. That's when he learned he was HIV-positive.
Why should you take the time to consider these situations?
All of them are possible consequences if you choose to became
sexually active.
You are probably asked all the time "What do you want
to do with your life?" Do you know? Have you thought
about your future? If you are not sure what you want from
relationships or sex, you have plenty of company. With graduation,
college, and a career to think about why would you want to
complicate your life even further? When you decide to be abstinent,
you simplify your life. You don't have to worry about pregnancy,
Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD's), or complicated feelings.
As a teen, your body is not ready for pregnancy. Teen pregnancy
can lead to complications for both you and your baby. Refraining
from sex is the only 100% sure way to avoid pregnancy and
STD's including HIV. No other method of birth control is 100%
effective.
You should be focusing on your future and achieving your
goals instead. You will undoubtedly encounter some tough decisions
and difficult situations along the way. Make your decision
based an what's right for you, not on what others think or
do. Making sexual decisions can be difficult. Think about
your relationships, your needs, and the impact your decision
will have an your future. Abstinence is a choice. It is your
right to make that decision and your responsibility to yourself
to stick with your decision even under pressure from others.
Tell your partner up front that you want a strong relationship
based on friendship and trust without the confusion sex can
add to it. Make sure you and your partner have the same definition
of abstinence. Be clear and state your limits. Being abstinent
works better if you decide on it together. This will help
reduce the chance of a misunderstanding later. Talk about
your reason for waiting before you get into a sexual situation
with your partner. You want to wait until you are married.
You want to experience other areas of your life before having
a sexual relationship. This will also make it easier to avoid
situations that could make it difficult to stick to your decision.
Discuss any possible obstacles to abstinence, and plan ways
together to overcome them. Then you can share your interests
and activities to help create a stronger relationship that
is not based on sexual intimacy.
Even if you've already had a sexual relationship, it is never
too late to make smart, healthy decisions. You can still choose
to become abstinent. Many people realize they weren't ready
for sex and choose what is called secondary virginity. Don't
be afraid to take control of your life. Secondary virginity
means that you care enough about yourself and your future
to save sex for the right person and the right time-marriage.
Making the decision to start over is the hardest part. I know
you are up to the challenge, and there are plenty of people
to help support you as you make this decision. Consider talking
to your parents, a teacher, or another trusted adult. Many
local and county agencies provide support and services. If
you have questions, your local Health Department is a good
place to start.
Tasha, Marceila, and Stan wish they had made abstinence their
choice. It is the only 100% positive way they could have prevented
the pregnancy and STD's that are now a part of their lives.
Abstinence also helps you avoid other complications in your
relationships and your future. Simplify your life by making
abstinence your choice. Focus on your future and enjoy being
a kid before you take a chance on having one. Remember it's
your goals, your future and your choice!
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