Got Goals?
"No! This can't
be happening! We were Safe!"
Sarah Sobbed on her best friends
shoulder. She had just read the
pregnancy test that she had covertly
purchased at a local drugstore.
The fact is Sarah wasn't the only
teen in the U.S. who had received
this life shattering news. In Montana,
Tina had finally accepted the fact
that she would not be graduating.
Her sister didn't graduate so she
saw that as the `norm' and figured
it would be okay to have a baby.
She could get back on track, right?
Besides, prior to having sex, her
boyfriend told her that he loved
her and would stay with her forever
and nothing could possibly be wrong
with them having sex `just this
once'. Females are not the only
ones that have to carry a burden
after making such a life altering
decision to not abstain from sex.
Males suffer consequences for their
clouded actions as well. Zachary
experienced his first outbreak last
week in California. The onset of
Herpes had arrived, and not only
did he have an STD, but he also
has a baby to go with it and the
sudden knowledge of the fact that
his girlfriend had sex with another
boy before having sex with him.
These are just a few of the many
possible scenarios that can happen
when teenagers try to jump the gun
and have sex before they even have
a chance to really live their lives
as adults.
Millions of people from the ages
of thirteen to nineteen have witnessed
this trend in the hallways at school,
heard about it from other classmates,
talked about it in depth, and learned
its consequences. But do teens really
understand? Teenagers have so much
stress between school, work, family
and friends; why add to it? Sex
just adds fuel to the fire. DON'T
have sex now!
Ten years ago in kindergarten during
a "career day" activity,
I told the future class of 2009
my dreams and goals. Of course,
at my current age of 15, I don't
really still believe that I will
be running a lollipop stand five
years from now, but the ideals of
setting goals for my future still
remain a constant. I'm not too sure
I've ever heard someone say "When
I grow up, I want to have a baby
at the age of 15 and not be able
to finish my high school education,
and therefore struggle all of my
life to just get by," Not such
a goal is it?
Parents need to be more involved
with their teens' lives. If parents
talk to their teens about abstinence
and help the teen to focus more
on the `age appropriate' activities
such as sports, church, or even
family time, then I believe that
the odds of that teen abstaining
will be much better. A confident
teen will focus more on bettering
themselves and focus less on doing
what all of their friends are doing,
and whether or not they'll be considered
'cool' because they've had sex!
Condom commercials state that you
should use a condom every time,
but aren't they forgetting something?
Sure, their job is to advertise
safe sex, but they fail to mention
the best strategy of all, "NO
SEX". You see, condoms don't
always work. 'Students nowadays
are under the impression that safe
sex is `okay' sex. Well, looks can
be deceiving. There is a chance
that the protection is faulty and
there is an even bigger chance that
complications may arise.
I have met three people and personally
knew one who had not abstained from
sex. All three girls' situations
resulted in childbirth. I watched
one (1) person at my school who
kept in control of her life after
the birth of her baby, but on the
flip side, I didn't watch the remaining
two because they disappeared. Some
people said that one of the girls
couldn't stay in school because
she was too tired from staying up
with the baby at night ...others
said that her boyfriend left her
and wasn't helping her with the
baby and she had to get a job to
pay for diapers and baby food. However
the circumstances vary, all three
young women decided that having
sex just one time wouldn't hurt.
They loved their boyfriend and vice
versa. This is the price that they
paid. However, it is not just a
temporary price tag. It is a lifetime
of partial regret. humiliation,
unfair judgment, and struggle. It
differs from what you told your
kindergarten class of what you wanted
to be when you grew up, doesn't
it?
I was raised to believe that if
you love someone and they love you
back, they can wait: If they can't
wait, then they really didn't love
you in the first place and that
is not the kind of person you really
want to spend the rest of your life
with. My mom has always said "Don't
put yourself in a situation that
could leave you vulnerable to believing
that teen sex is okay." As
much as I trusted my mother, I didn't
fully understand why she kept telling
me that as I was growing into a
young lady. Now, at the age of 15,
I see that she was preventing me
from ending up as a statistic. Even
my father has told me that no matter
what happens in a relationship,
sex is not the answer to your problems.
My dad was at `that age' before
and he knows what it is like to
be a boy with those `forbidden thoughts'.
His parents' words of wisdom were
"No respectable girl would
do that before she is married".
He was one of the few young men
with self control and that was what
made my mom respect him so much.
The tradition of respect lives on
as my family progresses and not
only do my goals keep me abstinent,
but it is also my parents' unrelenting
will and power that keeps my thoughts
far from the subject. That's always
how it will be in my mind.
I am very proud to have chosen
the path of Abstinence and I know
that because of this choice I have
made, I will live my life fully
and play out my life goals the way
I planned and dreamed since I stood
in front of that kindergarten class
10 years ago.
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